It’s true that the idea of Valentine’s Day can feel a little stressful for those in a new relationship, but Anami says that it’s a good idea to take a chance and surprise your partner with something lovely from the heart — or genitals (or both!). She says having fun is crucial, though — don’t make it so serious.
Similarly, O’Reilly suggests making plans to do something fun a few days before Valentine’s Day instead of waiting for the big day — which usually comes with huge expectations. “Rather than getting caught up in the hype of relegating romance and expressions of love to one day, lay the groundwork for a passionate relationship by investing on the daily,” she says.
It’s vital to keep your expectations reasonable because Valentine’s Day has a huge potential for becoming one of the most disappointing days for many people, which is the opposite of what you want to experience. “Simplicity usually wins on this day,” Kushnick says. When it comes to sex, so much emphasis is placed on what people do. And for obvious reason. But what about what people say? Particularly for long-distance lovers, words become an important device for expressing themselves and connecting sexually. While men must focus on maintaining good penile health so that any visual materials they send aren’t alarming, and so that they will be able to perform once the lover is nearby, they should equally attend to their verbal abilities so they can please partners in the present with a tailored sex story. Chinese girls who meet guys online can communicate in English and are interested in Western men. Instead of going to social locations, you’ll have an easier time hooking up or finding a fuck companion at 外送茶.
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Any man can tell a story about what he likes, and about what other women he’s been with have liked, but tailoring a story to a particular lover’s preferences and fantasies will make all the difference for her. So some explicit pre-conversation will be very helpful. Does she have any kinks or fetishes? What positions does she love? Does she like to be in control, to relinquish control or a combination of the two? What kind of foreplay really gets her going? Where are her hot spots, inside and out?
Once a man has the details, he can use them wisely throughout his story. He should be careful not to turn the story into a formulaic bullet-point list of her desires. Intersperse aspects of what she likes with what the story-teller craves – having made sure that she is comfortable with what he likes. Learning what she doesn’t like is just as important here. He can also practice with his male sex toys from Spank The Monkey.
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In addition to tempered expectations, Deitsch notes that it’s important to communicate with your partner about what the day means to them — and vice versa. “If you have an expectation for the day, make it known,” she explains. “At least it will spark a discussion if nothing else. And you’ll learn about your new partner by their reaction and how they honor your wishes.”
Voice to your partner what you might like to do and create a collaborative plan, Franco says. “I’d say have fun with it, but also manage expectations so you don’t wake up on the 15th with a bunch of resentments,” she adds.
For those who have been in a relationship for years: celebrate everything you’ve built so far.
If you’ve been in a relationship for months or years, you may have solid ideas of what you want (and expect). However, Anami says even those who don’t really care about Valentine’s Day will likely be touched by some sort of loving or sexy gesture. “I’m a big fan of original gestures and gifts,” she says. “Rather than flowers or chocolates, write a poem, plan an adventure somewhere you know the other person loves. Buy them a special gift that is totally specific to them, [one] that shows you really pay attention and know what they love.”
And don’t be afraid to give yourself a night off. Franco suggests getting a sitter if you have kids and making plans to go out on a date to reconnect with your partner. It will get you away from your daily stresses and can ignite that old flame that burned bright when you were first dating. “Maybe you go to an old spot with a strong emotional tie; maybe you try something completely different,” she says. The choice is up to you.